iPhone Versus Android

Only eight months after Steve declared that he had reinvented the phone, Information Week announced that Google had created the iPhone’s archenemy - the Android operating system.[1] Android was built by Andy Rubin. The name and logo was copied from the video game, Gauntlet: The Third Encounter, made for Steve’s old employer, Atari. Andy liked to play with the handheld game while he cut his engineering teeth working at Apple. Like Steve, Andy has a penchant for black sweaters - but without the turtleneck. He is also is a tyrant perfectionist. “Rubin kept saying the handset has to be thinner," mumbled one tired Google team member to Michael Arrington of Washington Post, "so we made it thinner".[2] However, the stooped engineer lacks the rock-star presence of his old boss. As Bill did with Windows, Andy would rather ship his idea in many machines rather than one. He pimps out Android to any device maker that wants it. Andy’s not fussy like Steve. Motorola, Samsung, Sony, Acer, Dell, HTC, and LG are all having a good time using Android. Whereas, the Apple iOS remains locked in its arranged marriage to the iPhone.

One can only imagine the awkward Apple board meetings with Steve at one end of the table and Google’s CEO seated at the other. Cast your mind back to when Steve introduced “Doctor Eric” during the iPhone keynote. Eric rubbed his hands together and said to Steve,

“I've had the privilege of joining the board and there's a lot of relationships between the boards, and I thought we, uh, could just sort of merge the companies and we can call it Applegoo (polite laughter). Umm, but I'm not a marketing guy. Um, what I liked about this new device, and the new architecture of the internet, is that you can actually merge without merging… Steve, my congratulations to you, this product is going to be HOT.”  

Steve replied, "As a board member you'll get one of the first ones!"[3]

It was later revealed that Eric showed off the secret iPhone prototype to his mistress, Kate Bohner. She described Steve as “just a stoned Jesuit priest lost in his garden” in her blog, “Recovery Girl 007”. Kate’s blog explored in detail her d/evolution from a spoilt cocaine-addicted corporate journalism pin-up to a born-again hippy rich enough to buy herself into a Buddhist nunnery (Kate struck a special deal so she didn’t have to shave off her perfectly styled coiffure in the name of Buddhist modesty). She also spilled the beans on her billionaire lover, codenamed “Doctor Strangelove”. Her blog was swiftly shut down by Doctor Eric. He and Google own the publishing service she was using (also the one I use).[4]

When Steve found out that Eric was building an Android phone, Steve screamed at him.[5]  It’s no wonder that Eric and his elegant wife were never invited to Steve’s home for dinner. For two years, the rival CEOs stared down that long stretch of mahogany board at one another until Eric and Apple finally parted ways. CNNMoney reported that breakup was “mutual”.[6] Two years later, at the Silicon Valley dinner with US President (and Apple fanboy) Obama, Steve sat on Obama’s left whilst Eric was kept at a safe distance at the other end of the table.

By the time the 3GS version was released, Steve was named Fortune Magazine's CEO of the Decade in December 2009. During the previous decade, the same magazine called him a “snake oil salesman”.[7] It was the iPhone that changed the magazine’s tune.

December was also when the first Android-installed iPhone-Killer appeared. This came only two years after Steve said his iPhone was five years ahead of anything else. The Motorola XT800 ZHISHANG had all the things that Steve told us were exclusive only to his iPhone: multi touch screen, accelerometer, proximity meter, and light meter. What happened to the 200 patents Steve had boasted? The ZHISHANG had more of everything that mattered to the customer: bigger screen, bigger camera, more picture resolution, more ram, and a thinner body.

Sometimes his products are trumped even before they are released. Steve claimed his Macbook Air was the "The World's Thinnest Notebook" in 2008.[8] However, Wired Magazine pointed out that a decade prior to the Air, Mitsubishi’s Pedion was thinner by a millimetre .[9] Splitting such hair’s breadths is just an example of both the IT media and IT industry’s ridiculous obsession with thinovation. It’s as tragic as a bulimic girl staring at the other skinny girls in the locker room thinking, “If I just threw up a few more times, I might be thinner.” Frightened, she looks around and finds a room full of competitors. Like Steve, she wants to be the special one.

In the face of competition, Steve always maintained that tech spec and volume sales don’t mean anything because his stuff is cooler. The market seemed to agree. By May, 2011, Apple had flown past Google as the world’s most valuable brand.[10] For three years, Aston Martin and the iPod vied for top position on the UK’s coolbrands list. In 2010, the iPod was bumped down to third place behind the iPhone.[11]

This was the same year that the iPhone began appearing on the walls of fine art galleries. The Chicago Art Department showed an exhibition entitled “iPhone, Therefore iArt”. 73-year-old British art legend, David Hockney, painted flowers on his iPhone using the “Brushes” app, and emailed them to his curator.[12] He was attracted to the iPhone’s luminous retina display. [13]  The flowering of Apple art is the culmination of a dream finally realised by Steve who has always wanted his tools to inspire artists. Excited by this development, Apple began a program called Pixels to feature iPhonographic artists who submit their work via an app called PixelEx. On the other hand, Android art remains a fringe dweller. Cool art, however doesn’t satisfy shareholders whose only concern is Apple’s bottom line. The exploding population of Androids poses a very real threat to their investment.

---

[1] Claburn, T. (2007, September 19) Google’s Secret Patent Portfolio Predicts gPhone. Information Week. 

[2] Arrington, M (2010, January 5) Andy Rubin Has Some Steve Jobs In Him. Washington Post. 

[3] SF Macworld 2007 Keynote Address - Eric Schmidt on stage [video clip] Retrieved from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vtdamKEcH8o

[4] Ninemsn.com. (2010, February 24) Google CEO ‘shut down mistress’s blog. Retrieved from: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/technology/1016411/google-ceo-shut-down-mistresss-blog

[5] Yarrow, J. (2010, March 22) The First Time Steve Flipped Out On Eric Schmidt. Posted in Velocity [blog] in forbes.com. Retrieved from: http://blogs.forbes.com/velocity/2010/03/22/the-first-time-steve-jobs-flipped-out-on-eric-schmidt/

[6] Goldman, D. (2009, August 3) Google CEO Schmidt leaves Apple. Retrieved from: http://money.cnn.com/2009/08/03/technology/schmidt_google_apple_board/

[7] Deutschman, A. (1993, February 8) STEVE JOBS' NEXT BIG GAMBLE The legendary entrepreneur aims to survive by turning a hardware maker into a major player in software. Fortune Magazine.

[8] Moren, D. & Snell, J. (2008, January 16) Expo Keynote – LiveUpdate. macworld.com. Retrieved from: http://www.macworld.com/article/131486/2008/01/liveupdate.html

[9] Bezchizza, R. (2008, January 16) Mitsubishi Pedion Thinner Than Macbook Air. Wired Magazine.

[10] Culpan, T (2011, May 9) Apple Brand Value at $153 Billion Overtakes Google for Top Spot. From Bloomberg.com. Retrieved from: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-05-09/apple-brand-value-at-153-billion-overtakes-google-for-top-spot.html

[11] Wallop, H. (2010, September 28) iPhone knocked off Cool Brands list by Aston Martin. The Guardian.

[12] Isenberg, B. (2011, January 11) David Hockney's friends in art: the iPad and iPhone. Los Angeles Times.

[13] Gayford, M (2010, October 20) David Hockney’s iPhone and iPad art. The Daily Telegraph.